Me. I mean, SERIOUSLY, if you're not having fun doing it...then STOP DOING IT. Simple, huh? There are those cynics out there, who say "everything in life isn't about having fun." Says WHO, Mr. Cynic? Surrrrre it is! Now, I don't frequent the Prozac bottle, and I do realize there are BAD TIMES...I'm not talking about adversity...I'm talking about WHAT YOU DO. I'm talking about taking the thought-provoking questions you SHOULD have running through your head and using them to ENJOY WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU DO. I once read that "curiosity is a powerful thing, and it leads to smart work." (Thank you people at Brains on Fire). But WOW. Deep. I guess "curiosity didn't kill the cat" afterall. Anyway, it really is a whole cirlce-of-life kind of thing. I mean, when we have fun, we grow, when we grow we succeed, and when we succeed, we profit. So, it stands to reason that if we don't have fun, then we are DEAD. PS-there are 210 Days til Mardi Gras. Woooo-hooo! Well, this has been fun, but I'm off to have more fun...maybe eat some Suishi...NOM, NOM, NOM...because that's the kind of fun-on-the-edge sort of thing I do.
Super.Fab.Wonderful. :)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
To-Do List
I've been reminded of this very poem at LEAST a dozen times in my life. The Professional Push is huge, and it deserves FOCUS...I mean, if you're going to leave your home-sweet-home for 80% of your day, it stands to reason that you should devote the necessary time to being an uber-fantastic professional and make the most of your time...BUT if you have children (or a spouse or any loved one you'd like to KEEP around), the value of quality time goes up a notch...super...*as if you aren't ALREADY being asked, demanded and bribed into doing ENOUGH things!! But "the greatest of these is love..." And Kids (like Adults), spell "Love" T-I-M-E. The thought is old and the remanants are cliche...but the meaning is VALUABLE. Here's the poem:
Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby.
Babies don't keep.
By Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
I'm OCD so "cleanliness IS next to Godliness" in my book...and calorie counting and lettuce are my nearest and dearest of friends...but I think tonight, the clothes will go unfolded...the floors will go unmopped...the bills will get paid tomorrow...and the B-Team and I will revel in a riveting game of CHUTES AND LADDERS! Did someone say pizza? Dino cookies? Fat and Fun...YUM. :)
Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby.
Babies don't keep.
By Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
I'm OCD so "cleanliness IS next to Godliness" in my book...and calorie counting and lettuce are my nearest and dearest of friends...but I think tonight, the clothes will go unfolded...the floors will go unmopped...the bills will get paid tomorrow...and the B-Team and I will revel in a riveting game of CHUTES AND LADDERS! Did someone say pizza? Dino cookies? Fat and Fun...YUM. :)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Satisfaction Guaranteed.
Trust me when I say that this is not one gift you will want to return. However, I would HIGHLY ADVISE re-gifting. AFFIRMATION. You know, we ALL love to hear what we do well...but how many of us run through our days without the slightest acknowledgement of the services being provided to us? I was thinking about this today--it's SO EASY to laud a child for an act of service because it's noticeable--I mean, the first time Bradley ever picked up a toy, I swear the heavens opened up and rays of sunshine beat onto my face. Now, when he puts his clothes into his laundry basket or tosses his mangled, spaghetti-stained napkin into the garbage, I am grateful BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING I'M NOT DOING--what a gift! It's easy for me to notice the helpful things he can do because that is something he COULD NOT do before. But how many times do we fail to acknowledge a friend? a spouse? a family member? a co-worker? a secretary? ALL THE TIME--I mean, I do at least. At it's not out of being intentionally selfish...but in this life of "now's" and instant gratification, it's so easy to look past all the things people are doing for us. So, "STOP, COLLABORATE AND LISTEN:" take time to notice SOMEONE today...and thank them...for taking out the trash, allowing you to walk through the door first, and all the other LITTLE things. It will make the other person feel AFFIRMED, and it will make you feel good. All warm and fuzzy. Aww. That's sweet.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Yes, I still flirt with Insomnia
It's 3:22 in the morning, and I have NO GOOD REASON for being awake. I did take Excedrin (something) earlier, and it's a known fact that the SMALLEST doseage of Caffeine will take me to the ends of the Earth and Back. So, being that caffeine is one of the active ingredients...VOILE.
Anyway, in my state of awakeness, I have really reflected on PERSONAL IMPACT. What does that mean, you are wondering? It's a known fact that people want to be remembered for GOOD things, when they're dead and gone. There are a few people, who are strange and SAY that they don't care "how people remember them," but the majority of people want to be remembered as something remarkable. They want to be known as "the MOST giving, the MOST altruistic, the MOST kind, the MOST loving, the MOST HONEST, the BEST son, the BEST daughter, the BEST Mother, the BEST Father, the smartest...and so on." So, the question is, HOW DO YOU ENSURE THAT HAPPENS?
1. Keep yourself in check. What are your priorities? Are other people and their needs BEFORE yours or are YOU numero UNO?
2. Do you have friends so YOU can talk or so THEY can be heard?
3. Are you reading? (and allow me to be brave and say EVERY day...try just 15 minutes a day).
4. Are you calling your friends and family members and MAKING the time to visit them. It's a well-known fact that "people don't care how much you know until you know how much you care." I know I've mentioned that before, but it's worth mentioning again.
5. Is the miscommunication about ARGUING to make your point or LISTENING to understand theirs?
6. Understanding BALANCE. Listen, I battle this DAILY. I live by the motto, "I can sleep when I'm dead"...hence the post at 3:30 in the morning. But while there has to be a ton of time for SAVING THE WORLD, there also has to be time set aside to RESCUE you.
Do all these things make you A LEGEND? No. But they give you peace of mind...and direction...and they keep you in touch with the people, WHO ARE GOING TO BE THE ONES THAT REMEMBER YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE. Balance and is the KEY to enjoying life as opposed to just getting by. Nothing is more disconcerting than to ask someone how they're doing and hear, "Oh, I'm just getting by." WHAT A SAD WAY TO LIVE LIFE. Seriously...we live on a planet with BILLIONS of hugely diverse people...a planet where knowledge, power and fun can be progress cooperatively. So WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO JUST "GET BY??" Seize the MOMENT! Enjoy the DAY! Live every day down to last second! Breathe peace.
Anyway, in my state of awakeness, I have really reflected on PERSONAL IMPACT. What does that mean, you are wondering? It's a known fact that people want to be remembered for GOOD things, when they're dead and gone. There are a few people, who are strange and SAY that they don't care "how people remember them," but the majority of people want to be remembered as something remarkable. They want to be known as "the MOST giving, the MOST altruistic, the MOST kind, the MOST loving, the MOST HONEST, the BEST son, the BEST daughter, the BEST Mother, the BEST Father, the smartest...and so on." So, the question is, HOW DO YOU ENSURE THAT HAPPENS?
1. Keep yourself in check. What are your priorities? Are other people and their needs BEFORE yours or are YOU numero UNO?
2. Do you have friends so YOU can talk or so THEY can be heard?
3. Are you reading? (and allow me to be brave and say EVERY day...try just 15 minutes a day).
4. Are you calling your friends and family members and MAKING the time to visit them. It's a well-known fact that "people don't care how much you know until you know how much you care." I know I've mentioned that before, but it's worth mentioning again.
5. Is the miscommunication about ARGUING to make your point or LISTENING to understand theirs?
6. Understanding BALANCE. Listen, I battle this DAILY. I live by the motto, "I can sleep when I'm dead"...hence the post at 3:30 in the morning. But while there has to be a ton of time for SAVING THE WORLD, there also has to be time set aside to RESCUE you.
Do all these things make you A LEGEND? No. But they give you peace of mind...and direction...and they keep you in touch with the people, WHO ARE GOING TO BE THE ONES THAT REMEMBER YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE. Balance and is the KEY to enjoying life as opposed to just getting by. Nothing is more disconcerting than to ask someone how they're doing and hear, "Oh, I'm just getting by." WHAT A SAD WAY TO LIVE LIFE. Seriously...we live on a planet with BILLIONS of hugely diverse people...a planet where knowledge, power and fun can be progress cooperatively. So WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO JUST "GET BY??" Seize the MOMENT! Enjoy the DAY! Live every day down to last second! Breathe peace.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Nonsense
So, I sincerely debated titling this blog entry "because I said so..." NOT as some statement, but because I tend to lack continuity and in essense "sense" in my blogs. Lots of people have blogs with a purpose: there are cooking blogs, couple blogs, family blogs, career blogs, hairstyle blogs, blogs, blogs, blogs...me...meh...eh...not so much...I wouldn't say I was on the THEME PURPOSE TRAIN.
AND I have NOT been away because I have been lazy (for once)...if you don't already know the tragedy that struck my life about a month ago, I will take that circe and run with it, but if you do, then you know that I have been the target of some pretty negative...crap...this is NOT me whining about it...it is what it is...but after someone cruely commented on the contents of my blog, I thought, "why add insult to injury?" No one enjoys persecution--justified or not...from a friend or from an enemy...with knowledge or emotion...it's defeating...
Life, as I know it, has seen intense changes and yes, details will follow in the future. I will say that I don't even PREFER beef stew, but the crockpot is a miraculous invention, and I recently decided to embrace it. At any rate, I just tasted the said beef stew and allow me to simply say, YUM. The meat is falling apart...potatoes are the perfectly seasoned carb...carrots (bleck) are tiny enough to be in existence (you're welcome, Grandma), but they aren't noticeable (hooray!). I am delighted in my achievement...and I'm onto baking ZUCCHINI CRAB CAKES...don't let the painfully gross title derail you--they are fantastic.
Alright, my moment of nonsense has passed, and i feel totally satisfied with the things I've shared. Purpose and Good Blogs to follow...and happiness to ensue.
Later Gators.
AND I have NOT been away because I have been lazy (for once)...if you don't already know the tragedy that struck my life about a month ago, I will take that circe and run with it, but if you do, then you know that I have been the target of some pretty negative...crap...this is NOT me whining about it...it is what it is...but after someone cruely commented on the contents of my blog, I thought, "why add insult to injury?" No one enjoys persecution--justified or not...from a friend or from an enemy...with knowledge or emotion...it's defeating...
Life, as I know it, has seen intense changes and yes, details will follow in the future. I will say that I don't even PREFER beef stew, but the crockpot is a miraculous invention, and I recently decided to embrace it. At any rate, I just tasted the said beef stew and allow me to simply say, YUM. The meat is falling apart...potatoes are the perfectly seasoned carb...carrots (bleck) are tiny enough to be in existence (you're welcome, Grandma), but they aren't noticeable (hooray!). I am delighted in my achievement...and I'm onto baking ZUCCHINI CRAB CAKES...don't let the painfully gross title derail you--they are fantastic.
Alright, my moment of nonsense has passed, and i feel totally satisfied with the things I've shared. Purpose and Good Blogs to follow...and happiness to ensue.
Later Gators.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
BlogosaurusREX!
KOM-UN-I-KATE! communicate. say what you mean and mean what you say. Perception IS more important than reality, but come on, Kids...cut the world a break! Don't always ASSuME someone knows what you're saying...how you feel...or "what you mean..." because 9 times out of 10, they don't! and we ALL communicate differently...so what keeps you from looking like a monster and being able to deliver your thoughts clearly? 2 shots of bacardi and a nap...KIDDING!! No, seriously...try to actually UNDERSTAND what the other person is saying by noticing their BODY LANGUAGE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, TONE AND INFLECTION. Most of what is communicated is unspoken...with that said...make sure your ATTITUDE is appropriate for the response...yes, this does sound like psycho mumbo-jumbo...but it's not...for example, if someone says to me, "Tammy, I think you could try it this way" (and their eyebrows are furrowed, their cheeks are red and their hands are on their hips), rest assured they're a little peeved at me...so it would NOT be an apporpriate time for me to say, "Well, what I was TRYING to do was..." they don't really CARE what i was trying to do...there is already a problem and they just want a solution. in the words of the deep south...GIT ER DONE!
a few disclaimers:
one: the title is not reflective of the blog...i was going to talk about something else...but well, i changed my mind...but i loved the title...so i kept it!
two: yes, sometimes i capitalize sentences and sometimes i don't...sue me.
three: I DO know that my grammar above was incorrect...when talking about a single person, you say HE or SHE...as opposed to "their or them"...but well, i couldn't decide if i wanted the other person to be a boy or girl...and i didn't feel like typing he/she every time...AND i know you can start with he or she and they default to just a He OR a she...but i didn't want to do that either....voile!
i hope this was somewhat helpful...of course, this IS the diary of a madwoman. :)
a few disclaimers:
one: the title is not reflective of the blog...i was going to talk about something else...but well, i changed my mind...but i loved the title...so i kept it!
two: yes, sometimes i capitalize sentences and sometimes i don't...sue me.
three: I DO know that my grammar above was incorrect...when talking about a single person, you say HE or SHE...as opposed to "their or them"...but well, i couldn't decide if i wanted the other person to be a boy or girl...and i didn't feel like typing he/she every time...AND i know you can start with he or she and they default to just a He OR a she...but i didn't want to do that either....voile!
i hope this was somewhat helpful...of course, this IS the diary of a madwoman. :)
Monday, June 23, 2008
TAKE A BREATH!
So, there are two sides to this coin...first, if I had a penny for every time someone said, "TAKE A BREATH, TAMMY!," I would be independently wealthy and well on my way to some tropical island. In case you've stumbled upon this wildly popular blog and have never had the incredible experience of talking to me, you don't know how fast OR how MUCH I talk! And when I say INCREDIBLE experience, I do mean INCREDIBLE...not INCREDIBLE like "deeply fabulous," but incredible like...WHOA. I have this excitement level that can only be satisfied by MASS AMOUNTS OF TALKING AT RIDICULOUS SPEEDS...and I DO tell myself "to slooooow down...and let the other person..." but darn it if my excitement doesn't get the best of me.
WHAT A CURSE.
Recently, a VERY dear person, whom I ADMIRE told me that "I never let him talk." He proceeded to tell me that I LECTURE and THEN ask him if he'd like to say a few words. WHAT?!! &*@$% no way! SO...WHAT DID I DO? duh...I QUICKLY began my LECTURE in DEFENSE of his ludacris statement!! ...oops...so maybe there was some validity to his statement. AND THAT WAS NOT GOOD.
SO, THIS IS MY MISSION...AND YOU SHOULD ALSO EMBRACE IT IF YOU'RE A FELLOW NON-PAUSER.
Pause...before you speak...
Pause...while you speak...
Pause...when you don't want to...
because, YOU my dear (and ME) are NOT the MYSTERY...the person you're talking TO is...let him or her SPEAK. You can't be engaging if all they hear is "blah, blah, blah..."
YES, YES...You ARE deeply fabulous...but let them tell you how fabulous they are first.
Signing Off,
Fellow Ex-Non-Pauser.
WHAT A CURSE.
Recently, a VERY dear person, whom I ADMIRE told me that "I never let him talk." He proceeded to tell me that I LECTURE and THEN ask him if he'd like to say a few words. WHAT?!! &*@$% no way! SO...WHAT DID I DO? duh...I QUICKLY began my LECTURE in DEFENSE of his ludacris statement!! ...oops...so maybe there was some validity to his statement. AND THAT WAS NOT GOOD.
SO, THIS IS MY MISSION...AND YOU SHOULD ALSO EMBRACE IT IF YOU'RE A FELLOW NON-PAUSER.
Pause...before you speak...
Pause...while you speak...
Pause...when you don't want to...
because, YOU my dear (and ME) are NOT the MYSTERY...the person you're talking TO is...let him or her SPEAK. You can't be engaging if all they hear is "blah, blah, blah..."
YES, YES...You ARE deeply fabulous...but let them tell you how fabulous they are first.
Signing Off,
Fellow Ex-Non-Pauser.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Happy Early Birthday!! (It's almost the birthday of my one month blog sabatacle!!)
The Princess of Particulars is...PARTICULARLY slack! Yes, yes, I admit it...my discipline for blogging has been...meh, eh, bleck! I have been busy, busy, busy...and yet...nothing spectacular can be said! What is the problem?? A word to the wise: DON'T GET IN A RUT...spoken by the unwise and from the mouth of babes!! How do you do this?? THAT IS THE QUEST, FRIENDS. (Where are my Monty Python links?!) Be excited about something. Be motivated by that something. Don't give up on the pursuit. It's sooooo easy...in fact TOOOOO EASY to forget the goal...and then get stuck in the RUT OF LIFE: go to bed, wake up, eat, shower, go to work (or school for you lucky few), end your day with dinner, be a domestic goddess (oh, maybe that's just me), get ready for bed...RINSE AND REPEAT.
DON'T DO IT. RESIST THE URGE. Be legendary. Go forth, sassy jedi's. Live long and prosper. :)
DON'T DO IT. RESIST THE URGE. Be legendary. Go forth, sassy jedi's. Live long and prosper. :)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Diary of a MadWoman
Insomnia is my BFF.
It's 2:15 AM, and yes, I DO have to be at work tomorrow...and I have NO reason for being awake...
So, I have been updating my Myspace Page. SO, WHAT OF IT? Anyway, it has been a long time coming...and anyway, I arrived at the "HEROES" section, and I realized that I didn't have any! I mean, yes, JESUS. But while He is a hero, that's not what the section is asking...I think that as a group, we feel like Jesus is "the right answer"--I mean, we all know that he's the ALPHA and OMEGA...Savior...Abba...Father...so, it stands to reason that He's also a HERO...but when I started thinking of LIVING HEREOS, i realized that i didn't have any! i mean, i know COOL people...i have people that i RESPECT...i have people i ADMIRE...but no real HERO...and then i felt BAD...and i thought i was DOING SOMETHING WRONG? i mean, i spend time with GOOD, GROWING people...so, i should have one of these said Heroes...right? what makes a person a hero? helping a sick child? rescuing a cat from a tree? a large financial contribution? seriously? EMAIL ME (tammyalthaus@yahoo.com) if you think you know the answer.
Ha...and so someone asked me WHY to blog. I have no idea. I'm sure there's a REASON that a person first STARTED to blog...forum, communication, ideas...but now it's just another..."thing." i blog just because i have a lot of emotions. I AM WOMAN. estrogen is my soul mate. who knows if it's a gift or a curse...but it's mine...all mine... :)
ok, i'm going to go do 100 crunches, give myself a facial, floss my teeth (ugh. eww. i should delete that...but i'm not going to)...drink some water...and hopefully fall into a deep slumber.
Sleep Tight...and if the bed bugs bite...then WASH YOUR SHEETS, Linus. :)
It's 2:15 AM, and yes, I DO have to be at work tomorrow...and I have NO reason for being awake...
So, I have been updating my Myspace Page. SO, WHAT OF IT? Anyway, it has been a long time coming...and anyway, I arrived at the "HEROES" section, and I realized that I didn't have any! I mean, yes, JESUS. But while He is a hero, that's not what the section is asking...I think that as a group, we feel like Jesus is "the right answer"--I mean, we all know that he's the ALPHA and OMEGA...Savior...Abba...Father...so, it stands to reason that He's also a HERO...but when I started thinking of LIVING HEREOS, i realized that i didn't have any! i mean, i know COOL people...i have people that i RESPECT...i have people i ADMIRE...but no real HERO...and then i felt BAD...and i thought i was DOING SOMETHING WRONG? i mean, i spend time with GOOD, GROWING people...so, i should have one of these said Heroes...right? what makes a person a hero? helping a sick child? rescuing a cat from a tree? a large financial contribution? seriously? EMAIL ME (tammyalthaus@yahoo.com) if you think you know the answer.
Ha...and so someone asked me WHY to blog. I have no idea. I'm sure there's a REASON that a person first STARTED to blog...forum, communication, ideas...but now it's just another..."thing." i blog just because i have a lot of emotions. I AM WOMAN. estrogen is my soul mate. who knows if it's a gift or a curse...but it's mine...all mine... :)
ok, i'm going to go do 100 crunches, give myself a facial, floss my teeth (ugh. eww. i should delete that...but i'm not going to)...drink some water...and hopefully fall into a deep slumber.
Sleep Tight...and if the bed bugs bite...then WASH YOUR SHEETS, Linus. :)
Monday, May 19, 2008
BEST COMPANY POLICY
So, I am always seeking out new, well-written ideas, concepts, etc. In my search, I have stumbled upon a fabulous thing, and while the simple fact that I find this funny MIGHT MAKE ME KNOWN TO THE WORLD AS "STRANGE AND DEMENTED" I don't care...because again...it is FABULOUS.
Company Policy:
Effective from JULY 2005
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.Personal DaysEach employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Company Policy:
Effective from JULY 2005
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.Personal DaysEach employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
5 Ways to be a Great...PERSON...and Friend
Peek-a-boo...yes, it APPEARS as if I ABANDONED my blog. I really am NOT the kind of girl, who starts something without finishing it...but LIFE as I know it, calls me in a MILLION different directions, of which I am only HALFWAY capable of conquering...thanks to a few great friends!
First and LAST here...I thrive because I have mature, intelligent, witty, beautiful friends...and they hang around me because I reciprocate...well, ha...I didn't just mean to CLAIM beauty, but my point is that life is about companionship...so, CONQUER IT!
1. BE A GOOD LISTENER. duh. AND BLECK. We all want to offer COUNSEL, but a friend in need...is a FRIEND, WHO NEEDS TO WHINE, AND CRY, AND COMPLAIN FOR A FEW MINUTES before you offer a realistic solution.
2. BE QUIET. Men struggle with this FAR LESS than estrogen-pumping women...if he/she tells YOU then he/she tells YOU...not YOUR mutual friend, brother, sister or family member...so, MUMS THE WORD.
3. BE POSITIVE. BUT don't be a cheerleader...in the darkest moment of greatest despair, your FRIEND doesn't want to hear that it will "be OK..." save the Cliche responses for your Sunday School Teacher...be real...and be optimistic.
4. Be Present. Don't ENABLE whiny people to CREATE their misery, but if you have a real friend, who's generally grounded and happy, and he/she tells you they have a problem, then STOP YOUR LIFE to listen...it's 30 minutes out of your day...and 30 years back to their life.
5. Enjoy the reward. What goes around, comes around. How great is it to be there for a friend...and have them there for you?
First and LAST here...I thrive because I have mature, intelligent, witty, beautiful friends...and they hang around me because I reciprocate...well, ha...I didn't just mean to CLAIM beauty, but my point is that life is about companionship...so, CONQUER IT!
1. BE A GOOD LISTENER. duh. AND BLECK. We all want to offer COUNSEL, but a friend in need...is a FRIEND, WHO NEEDS TO WHINE, AND CRY, AND COMPLAIN FOR A FEW MINUTES before you offer a realistic solution.
2. BE QUIET. Men struggle with this FAR LESS than estrogen-pumping women...if he/she tells YOU then he/she tells YOU...not YOUR mutual friend, brother, sister or family member...so, MUMS THE WORD.
3. BE POSITIVE. BUT don't be a cheerleader...in the darkest moment of greatest despair, your FRIEND doesn't want to hear that it will "be OK..." save the Cliche responses for your Sunday School Teacher...be real...and be optimistic.
4. Be Present. Don't ENABLE whiny people to CREATE their misery, but if you have a real friend, who's generally grounded and happy, and he/she tells you they have a problem, then STOP YOUR LIFE to listen...it's 30 minutes out of your day...and 30 years back to their life.
5. Enjoy the reward. What goes around, comes around. How great is it to be there for a friend...and have them there for you?
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Catch 22
The best thing about working 7 days a week is that Sunday is not the "dreaded day before Monday" because it's just like any other day of the week. :) However, I am ready for a day off now...and I'm more stressed that I'm ready for a day off, and I'm supposed to be psyched and prepared for the upcoming week! ha! Oh well, the best part about being an Adult is that it turns out that my childhood perceptions were true: I really can stay up as late as I want...and I can eat marshmallows for lunch...and I can sleep past 7:00 and just be late if that so pleases me! I live a lavish and grand life! My goals this week: 1) Read the rest of my current book. 2) Stay steady on my new workout routine. 3) Paint my nails. 4) Keep up with my blog. 5) Spend time with a friend, who I know NEEDS an ear. 5) Lock in my client, who ENTERTAINED EVERY WAKING MOMENT of my weekend. :) 6) VISIT JP. :)
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Writer's Block
So, needless to say that even IF it turns out that I'm not destined to be in Sales, I won't be quitting my day job to be a writer...only a handful of blogs down, and I'm already drawing a blank!
BUT (THANKFULLY), I stumbled upon an amazing thing today: a MENTAL VACATION! Yes, that does SOUND lame, but I promise that my divinely profound explanation will bring it all full circle. So, for five years now, I have pursued the full commission career. And what does that mean, you may be asking...DOLLAR SIGNS...MAJOR MOOLAH...RICHES GALORE! YES? No. I wish. And because of my chosen industry, I work 50 hours a week and am afraid the SMALLEST VACATION OR EVEN SIESTA might undo all of my hard work. So what do I do? WORK. AND WORK MORE. No early to bed, just early to rise. No sabatacles...no early nights...no long weekends...no beach trips. Nothing.
BUT I am finally seeing the BENEFIT of personal time. I worked all morning and early afternoon today, but I stopped working at around 3 and just spent time with a friend...I did a FEW, SMALL things for work, but basically, I embraced a vegitative state...totally refreshing. In fact, I'm proclaiming a few hours TO MYSELF EVERY WEEK. NO WORK. MENTAL SOLACE...WASTED TIME! WOOOO-HOOOOO! I even splurged and ate pizza! Yes, to hell with the Diet gods! My girlish figure can surely withstand the grease and carbs for ONE meal a week...and it was goooo-ooood. And THAT, my friend, is my incredibly profound life lesson--take some time off--it will make you smile a little more...and to VALIDATE this thought, I'm going to spin it: time off=smiles=increased seratonin levels=greater happiness=longevity and health...and the cycle of life is healthy.
"Live Long and Prosoper."
-Vulcan Salute (minus the pointy ears)
BUT (THANKFULLY), I stumbled upon an amazing thing today: a MENTAL VACATION! Yes, that does SOUND lame, but I promise that my divinely profound explanation will bring it all full circle. So, for five years now, I have pursued the full commission career. And what does that mean, you may be asking...DOLLAR SIGNS...MAJOR MOOLAH...RICHES GALORE! YES? No. I wish. And because of my chosen industry, I work 50 hours a week and am afraid the SMALLEST VACATION OR EVEN SIESTA might undo all of my hard work. So what do I do? WORK. AND WORK MORE. No early to bed, just early to rise. No sabatacles...no early nights...no long weekends...no beach trips. Nothing.
BUT I am finally seeing the BENEFIT of personal time. I worked all morning and early afternoon today, but I stopped working at around 3 and just spent time with a friend...I did a FEW, SMALL things for work, but basically, I embraced a vegitative state...totally refreshing. In fact, I'm proclaiming a few hours TO MYSELF EVERY WEEK. NO WORK. MENTAL SOLACE...WASTED TIME! WOOOO-HOOOOO! I even splurged and ate pizza! Yes, to hell with the Diet gods! My girlish figure can surely withstand the grease and carbs for ONE meal a week...and it was goooo-ooood. And THAT, my friend, is my incredibly profound life lesson--take some time off--it will make you smile a little more...and to VALIDATE this thought, I'm going to spin it: time off=smiles=increased seratonin levels=greater happiness=longevity and health...and the cycle of life is healthy.
"Live Long and Prosoper."
-Vulcan Salute (minus the pointy ears)
Friday, May 2, 2008
Idiots
So, I feel pretty confident that few people even KNOW about my blog, but sure enough, as soon as I post something like this, I will HEAR FROM EVERYONE because someone is bound to KNOW (or actually BE) one of the people I'm about to mention.
IF you're an IDIOT, please step right up to the plate. I have a bone to pick with you...hell, I have a bone I'd like to throw AT YOU.
God Bless America...really...seriously..."Land of opportunity..." and home of the network marketing venture. Seriously, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A REAL TALENT OR REAL KNOWLEDGE, THEN PLEASE DON'T BE IGNORANT ENOUGH TO THINK THAT YOU CAN "GET RICH QUICK" BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS THE TALENT OR KNOWLEDGE! I spent over an hour today with an "investor." ...or so he told me...EVIDENTLY, there is a "group of investors," who meet in Greenville to discuss ways to buy, flip and rent houses--don't worry--don't put your "bored wall" up--I'm not going into details for THAT song and dance...at any rate, this is a TRUE STORY: so, this KID, calls me and asks me to search comps because he's an investor and he plans on making tons of offers on houses. Now, traditionally-speaking, in Anderson, we don't buy houses the same way your order your "whopper with fries, please"--there's a pre-qualification process...a research of debt to income ratio...blah, blah, blah...and let's ALSO go ahead and address the fact that when (as Americans), we hear the word INVESTOR, we think of...oh...say...DONALD TRUMP...you know the type--professional, savvy, affluent...INTELLIGENT. So, this Kid calls me with all kinds of "umph" and asks to meet with me. "GREAT IDEA," I say...he shows up and I say, "Ok, so let's talk about your cash flow options, money down and what you're trying to accomplish." and here's his story (I am NOT joking): "Well, right now, I'm buying FOR my investors. I live with my Grandma. And I sell coupon books. But I do play Robert Kiyosaki's "Cash Flow" GAME. So, I know of a guy, who bought a whole bunch of houses for like $35,000 each and he's like, supposedly doing good so I want to see about doing that." Of course, I ask this young entrepreneur HOW MUCH EXPERIENCE HE'S HAD DOING THIS...and now that he's told me he HAS INVESTORS, I ask HOW MANY...and I ask all the necessary (boring) real estate PROFIT questions...to which he replied "well, really, i have a list of like 1000 investors--i just make offers and they show up FOR ME and buy the houses. and i never asked about all the other stuff so maybe i should...right Tammy?" I SWEAR--I wanted the ground to open up beneath me and EAT ME. I really wanted to hear the "om nom nom nom" sound as the earth gobbled me up. Moreover, I wanted to yell, "GET A REAL DAMN JOB! STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND BELIEVING THAT IT'S REALLY THAT EASY TO MAKE SO MUCH MONEY!'" What is it with network marketing and the people, who buy into it?! If making "all that money" were REALLY that easy, WHY THE HELL WOULD EVERYONE IN AMERICA BE WORKING OR SACRIFICING TO OWN THEIR OWN BUSINESS? The people, who MAKE the money doing those things are the people, who were BRAVE ENOUGH ENTREPRENEURS to come up with those ideas! The rest of you are just the dumb saps BUYING INTO THEIR great ideas!
Here is my advice: get a job. study the WISE and wealthy buisness men and women, who have gone before you. then, CREATE some great plan...and go after it. GUESS WHAT? Your friends in the FIRST GRADE didn't like it when you were a "copy cat..." and the smart men and women, who have made the big bucks don't like it either!
i'm not really as bitter and angry as this sounds...i happen to find ignorance AMUSING. and really, i have this soft spot in my heart that hates seeing people be stupid. awww.
IF you're an IDIOT, please step right up to the plate. I have a bone to pick with you...hell, I have a bone I'd like to throw AT YOU.
God Bless America...really...seriously..."Land of opportunity..." and home of the network marketing venture. Seriously, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A REAL TALENT OR REAL KNOWLEDGE, THEN PLEASE DON'T BE IGNORANT ENOUGH TO THINK THAT YOU CAN "GET RICH QUICK" BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS THE TALENT OR KNOWLEDGE! I spent over an hour today with an "investor." ...or so he told me...EVIDENTLY, there is a "group of investors," who meet in Greenville to discuss ways to buy, flip and rent houses--don't worry--don't put your "bored wall" up--I'm not going into details for THAT song and dance...at any rate, this is a TRUE STORY: so, this KID, calls me and asks me to search comps because he's an investor and he plans on making tons of offers on houses. Now, traditionally-speaking, in Anderson, we don't buy houses the same way your order your "whopper with fries, please"--there's a pre-qualification process...a research of debt to income ratio...blah, blah, blah...and let's ALSO go ahead and address the fact that when (as Americans), we hear the word INVESTOR, we think of...oh...say...DONALD TRUMP...you know the type--professional, savvy, affluent...INTELLIGENT. So, this Kid calls me with all kinds of "umph" and asks to meet with me. "GREAT IDEA," I say...he shows up and I say, "Ok, so let's talk about your cash flow options, money down and what you're trying to accomplish." and here's his story (I am NOT joking): "Well, right now, I'm buying FOR my investors. I live with my Grandma. And I sell coupon books. But I do play Robert Kiyosaki's "Cash Flow" GAME. So, I know of a guy, who bought a whole bunch of houses for like $35,000 each and he's like, supposedly doing good so I want to see about doing that." Of course, I ask this young entrepreneur HOW MUCH EXPERIENCE HE'S HAD DOING THIS...and now that he's told me he HAS INVESTORS, I ask HOW MANY...and I ask all the necessary (boring) real estate PROFIT questions...to which he replied "well, really, i have a list of like 1000 investors--i just make offers and they show up FOR ME and buy the houses. and i never asked about all the other stuff so maybe i should...right Tammy?" I SWEAR--I wanted the ground to open up beneath me and EAT ME. I really wanted to hear the "om nom nom nom" sound as the earth gobbled me up. Moreover, I wanted to yell, "GET A REAL DAMN JOB! STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND BELIEVING THAT IT'S REALLY THAT EASY TO MAKE SO MUCH MONEY!'" What is it with network marketing and the people, who buy into it?! If making "all that money" were REALLY that easy, WHY THE HELL WOULD EVERYONE IN AMERICA BE WORKING OR SACRIFICING TO OWN THEIR OWN BUSINESS? The people, who MAKE the money doing those things are the people, who were BRAVE ENOUGH ENTREPRENEURS to come up with those ideas! The rest of you are just the dumb saps BUYING INTO THEIR great ideas!
Here is my advice: get a job. study the WISE and wealthy buisness men and women, who have gone before you. then, CREATE some great plan...and go after it. GUESS WHAT? Your friends in the FIRST GRADE didn't like it when you were a "copy cat..." and the smart men and women, who have made the big bucks don't like it either!
i'm not really as bitter and angry as this sounds...i happen to find ignorance AMUSING. and really, i have this soft spot in my heart that hates seeing people be stupid. awww.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
%$#@!
So, I've been told that the worst thing you can do to a blog is NOT update it every day...the second worst thing is to be boring. I committed to (myself) that I would NOT miss a day...surely I'm exciting to come up with (OR STEAL) at least one thought a day, right? Yes. Unfortunately, an hour ago, I realized that there were 24 hours in a day...not 26...so, it looks like I missed a DAY. Too bad time doesn't run on Insomnia. At any rate, comic relief sounded far better than any other "Thought" at this point...
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.22) CALL out "Group hug!" Then enforce it.
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.22) CALL out "Group hug!" Then enforce it.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Stolen
A great article from my favorite fame-worthy speaker:
20 Ways to Make Customers Feel Comfortable
1. Action is eloquence. Make sure that what you actually are speaks louder than what you say you are.
2. Admit to cynicism. Think about what a cynical, bitter critic would say about you, your idea, or your product. Like David Spade on Hollywood Minute, for example. Then, share that idea early. It will be disarming and reduce your threat level.
3. Appearance. Don’t “dress for success.” Dress in a way that’s consistent with who you are and makes you feel comfortable; yet at the same time, makes others feel at ease when engaging with you.
4. Ask; don’t tell. And ask really good, fun, creative, well-timed, unexpected and open-ended questions. Invite dialogue. BECAUSE: questions are respectful and questions demonstrate listening. NOTE: be careful to avoid potentially uncomfortable questions or too many questions.
5. Avoid (over) active listening. If you nod TOO much, smile TOO much and agree TOO much, your conversation partner is going not going to like you … TOO much! Avoid focusing ALL your attention on “coming off as a good listener.” Just relax. The moment you TRY to be authentic is the moment you STOP being authentic. Listening is about focusing on the OTHER person’s words, not about focusing on YOUR own abilities.
6. Avoid agreeing with everybody. Remember, there’s a difference between disagreeing and being disagreeable. People respect people who take a stand.
7. Avoid generalizing. On the other hand, there’s nothing more annoying than talking to someone who’s already convinced that he’s right. So, a good phrase to demonstrate open-minded thinking is, “That’s MY truth, not THEE truth.” Concentrate more on being helpful than being right. Be confident enough to be humble.
8. Avoid misrepresentation. Don’t treat beliefs and faiths as facts. They’re not. Don’t say, “Well, I just KNOW,” unless you have tangible, scientific proof. Because without proof, you just believe. And that’s cool too! Believing is important. But that doesn’t make it a fact.
9. Be (somewhat) predictable. Prove people right. Confirm their suspicions that you are the person they thought you were and hoped you would be.
10. Be childlike, not childish. Kids put people at ease. (At least, when they’re not screaming or pooping.) So, watch kids more often and see how they make others feel comfortable just by being themselves. C’mon, do it for the kids.
11. Be like Bill Clinton. No, I don’t mean lie. Instead, smile and make eye contact for ONE extra second when being introduced or saying goodbye. That’s it. One extra second. It makes a HUGE difference. And people love it. After all, Clinton wasn’t called “The President You Could Have a Beer With” for nothing.
12. Be like your dog. Dogs pretty much smile AT and show love and affection TO every single person they meet. And most people love dogs. Coincidence?
13. Beware of demonstrating vulnerability to early. Yes, vulnerability IS attractive. Admitting that you don’t know the answer or have been completely terrified before is a surefire way to reinforce your ordinariness and encourage comfort. HOWEVER: don’t be too vulnerable too quickly. It may come off like you’re trying TOO hard to build rapport. And intentionality often reduces authenticity.
14. Chill. Don’t try so damn hard. Just relax. And just L-I-S-T-E-N, don’t try to control the conversation.
15. Communicate less perfectly. Ever seen a comedian, rock star or speaker TOTALLY screw something up … and then laughed about it on stage? Right. And most people in the audience did the same: laugh. LESSON LEARNED: Humor = Comfort. AND REMEMBER: success isn’t perfection.
16. Dare to be dumb. The word dumb simply means, “Unable to speak or ignorant.” So, it doesn’t mean you’re stupid; just confident enough to be humble. What’s more, when you say things like, “I don’t know what that means,” or “I never thought of it that way,” it’s more human, relatable and approachable. NOTE: this doesn’t mean you need to be dumb ALL the time! Don’t be George W. Bush dumb. Just dumb enough to keep yourself accountable and to keep other people comfortable.
17. Directness is appreciated. Be candid and unexpectedly honest early, but not TOO early. Don’t be afraid of owning up to something by saying “I have no proof or evidence” “I have no excuse” and “I really messed up.” People appreciate candor.
18. Disarm immediate preoccupation. Your primary conversational task is to diffuse defensiveness. Because It ALWAYS exists. So, figure out what might be bugging, bothering or irking this person about talking to “someone like you,” i.e., what you look like, where you work, what you do, what you believe, etc. Then, lay it out there early. That way, the other person isn’t spending the rest of the conversation unconsciously nodding at you while simultaneously being on lookout for that Conversational Moment of Truth when they think, “Yep, just as I thought. Here comes the sales pitch…”
19. Don’t ask too many questions. Sure, questions are valuable, but don’t overdo it. People don’t like to be puked on. See, over-asking can cause four uncomfortable problems. First of all, it can come off as overly goal-oriented, too forced and too planned. Secondly, it projects a rapport-seeking attitude, instead of rapport-attracting attitude. Thirdly, it will appear that you have nothing of value to share yourself. And lastly, asking too many questions makes the other person feel like she’s being interviewed or interrogated. And if you’ve ever seen an episode of Law and Order, you KNOW that ain’t comfortable. (I’m looking at YOU, Detective Stabler.)
20. Don’t be sneaky. Hold on there, Mr. Fox. Don’t unnaturally sneak your goal, product, sales pitch or objective into EVERY conversation! If it comes up organically, great. If not, let it go. No need to perpetually push what you’ve got. After all, Newton’s Second Law of Gravity proves that if you push, people will push back. And that’s not usually very comfortable either.
Props to the Author--Scott Ginsberg
20 Ways to Make Customers Feel Comfortable
1. Action is eloquence. Make sure that what you actually are speaks louder than what you say you are.
2. Admit to cynicism. Think about what a cynical, bitter critic would say about you, your idea, or your product. Like David Spade on Hollywood Minute, for example. Then, share that idea early. It will be disarming and reduce your threat level.
3. Appearance. Don’t “dress for success.” Dress in a way that’s consistent with who you are and makes you feel comfortable; yet at the same time, makes others feel at ease when engaging with you.
4. Ask; don’t tell. And ask really good, fun, creative, well-timed, unexpected and open-ended questions. Invite dialogue. BECAUSE: questions are respectful and questions demonstrate listening. NOTE: be careful to avoid potentially uncomfortable questions or too many questions.
5. Avoid (over) active listening. If you nod TOO much, smile TOO much and agree TOO much, your conversation partner is going not going to like you … TOO much! Avoid focusing ALL your attention on “coming off as a good listener.” Just relax. The moment you TRY to be authentic is the moment you STOP being authentic. Listening is about focusing on the OTHER person’s words, not about focusing on YOUR own abilities.
6. Avoid agreeing with everybody. Remember, there’s a difference between disagreeing and being disagreeable. People respect people who take a stand.
7. Avoid generalizing. On the other hand, there’s nothing more annoying than talking to someone who’s already convinced that he’s right. So, a good phrase to demonstrate open-minded thinking is, “That’s MY truth, not THEE truth.” Concentrate more on being helpful than being right. Be confident enough to be humble.
8. Avoid misrepresentation. Don’t treat beliefs and faiths as facts. They’re not. Don’t say, “Well, I just KNOW,” unless you have tangible, scientific proof. Because without proof, you just believe. And that’s cool too! Believing is important. But that doesn’t make it a fact.
9. Be (somewhat) predictable. Prove people right. Confirm their suspicions that you are the person they thought you were and hoped you would be.
10. Be childlike, not childish. Kids put people at ease. (At least, when they’re not screaming or pooping.) So, watch kids more often and see how they make others feel comfortable just by being themselves. C’mon, do it for the kids.
11. Be like Bill Clinton. No, I don’t mean lie. Instead, smile and make eye contact for ONE extra second when being introduced or saying goodbye. That’s it. One extra second. It makes a HUGE difference. And people love it. After all, Clinton wasn’t called “The President You Could Have a Beer With” for nothing.
12. Be like your dog. Dogs pretty much smile AT and show love and affection TO every single person they meet. And most people love dogs. Coincidence?
13. Beware of demonstrating vulnerability to early. Yes, vulnerability IS attractive. Admitting that you don’t know the answer or have been completely terrified before is a surefire way to reinforce your ordinariness and encourage comfort. HOWEVER: don’t be too vulnerable too quickly. It may come off like you’re trying TOO hard to build rapport. And intentionality often reduces authenticity.
14. Chill. Don’t try so damn hard. Just relax. And just L-I-S-T-E-N, don’t try to control the conversation.
15. Communicate less perfectly. Ever seen a comedian, rock star or speaker TOTALLY screw something up … and then laughed about it on stage? Right. And most people in the audience did the same: laugh. LESSON LEARNED: Humor = Comfort. AND REMEMBER: success isn’t perfection.
16. Dare to be dumb. The word dumb simply means, “Unable to speak or ignorant.” So, it doesn’t mean you’re stupid; just confident enough to be humble. What’s more, when you say things like, “I don’t know what that means,” or “I never thought of it that way,” it’s more human, relatable and approachable. NOTE: this doesn’t mean you need to be dumb ALL the time! Don’t be George W. Bush dumb. Just dumb enough to keep yourself accountable and to keep other people comfortable.
17. Directness is appreciated. Be candid and unexpectedly honest early, but not TOO early. Don’t be afraid of owning up to something by saying “I have no proof or evidence” “I have no excuse” and “I really messed up.” People appreciate candor.
18. Disarm immediate preoccupation. Your primary conversational task is to diffuse defensiveness. Because It ALWAYS exists. So, figure out what might be bugging, bothering or irking this person about talking to “someone like you,” i.e., what you look like, where you work, what you do, what you believe, etc. Then, lay it out there early. That way, the other person isn’t spending the rest of the conversation unconsciously nodding at you while simultaneously being on lookout for that Conversational Moment of Truth when they think, “Yep, just as I thought. Here comes the sales pitch…”
19. Don’t ask too many questions. Sure, questions are valuable, but don’t overdo it. People don’t like to be puked on. See, over-asking can cause four uncomfortable problems. First of all, it can come off as overly goal-oriented, too forced and too planned. Secondly, it projects a rapport-seeking attitude, instead of rapport-attracting attitude. Thirdly, it will appear that you have nothing of value to share yourself. And lastly, asking too many questions makes the other person feel like she’s being interviewed or interrogated. And if you’ve ever seen an episode of Law and Order, you KNOW that ain’t comfortable. (I’m looking at YOU, Detective Stabler.)
20. Don’t be sneaky. Hold on there, Mr. Fox. Don’t unnaturally sneak your goal, product, sales pitch or objective into EVERY conversation! If it comes up organically, great. If not, let it go. No need to perpetually push what you’ve got. After all, Newton’s Second Law of Gravity proves that if you push, people will push back. And that’s not usually very comfortable either.
Props to the Author--Scott Ginsberg
Monday, April 28, 2008
I AM...
The jack of all trades...
I am the COURAGEOUS CEO, the WORD OF MOUTH GURU, the CURIOSITY OFFICER, the YOUNG GUN, the WHIPCRACKER, the PRINCESS OF PARTICULARS...i AM the CONQUERER of THE sales WORLD.
wElCoMe, KiNdReD sPiRitS.
I am the COURAGEOUS CEO, the WORD OF MOUTH GURU, the CURIOSITY OFFICER, the YOUNG GUN, the WHIPCRACKER, the PRINCESS OF PARTICULARS...i AM the CONQUERER of THE sales WORLD.
wElCoMe, KiNdReD sPiRitS.
Be REMARKABLE
So, according to Webster, the definition of REMARKABLE is "worthy of being or likely to be noticed, especially as being uncommon or EXTRAORIDNARY." I actually noticed the words "Be Remarkable" (without an explanation) by an author--Seth Godin. I've always had this perception that you have to ARRIVE until you can BE. Yes, I know...these are the writings of a mad woman and that statement makes NO sense. What I am trying to say is that if I want to be remarkable, I just have to make my move NOW. but then I thought, WHAT DO I DO THAT'S SO reMARKable? I GO THE EXTRA MILE? Ugh--if that doesn't scream LAME-MARKETEER-JARGON, then let me throw up all over myself NOW. So, that's my mission TODAY. I'm going to put into words what it is that I do...WHY WOULD I CHOOSE ME? AS A COMPANION? AS A FRIEND? AS A CONFIDANTE? AS A PROFESSIONAL? AS A TRUSTED ADVISOR? What does OR COULD make me AMAZINGLY APPROACHABLE AND ATTRACTIVE TO THOSE AROUND ME?
I WANTED TO SHARE SOME REMARKABLE, AMAZINGLY APPROACHABLE PEOPLE I LOVE:
PERRY NOBLE
GEORGE W BUSH (Bite me if you don't like him, LOSER)
MARIAH CAREY (Have you heard her range?)
SCOTT GINSBERG
People make impressions not because they "break records"--they SET records. I need to do that. Today, I am committing to ABANDONING YESTERDAY'S STRATEGY. I'm going to do it first, and do it best.
Stay tuned...and shake it like a salt shaker. :)
I WANTED TO SHARE SOME REMARKABLE, AMAZINGLY APPROACHABLE PEOPLE I LOVE:
PERRY NOBLE
GEORGE W BUSH (Bite me if you don't like him, LOSER)
MARIAH CAREY (Have you heard her range?)
SCOTT GINSBERG
People make impressions not because they "break records"--they SET records. I need to do that. Today, I am committing to ABANDONING YESTERDAY'S STRATEGY. I'm going to do it first, and do it best.
Stay tuned...and shake it like a salt shaker. :)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The First Ever!
So, this is my very first blog. I love to write...so this makes sense. I also love to read the thoughts of OTHER INTERESTING PEOPLE. I am a student and practicioner of PEOPLE. Sounds simple enough, huh? I am also a freak when it comes to good grammar and syntax, but I'm going to resist the urge for structure and just write...after all, it's first impressions that count...not first blogs!
This isn't Myspace so I don't claim to be "here for friends," BUT age has taught me one thing: THERE REALLY IS A LOT I DON'T KNOW. And knowing that IS A REMINDER that the more I learn from other ENGAGING PEOPLE, the better off I am. So, that's my mission: to get to know YOU. Really--if you're reading this...Why? There's a reason you found me...and surely, there's one reason for me to know YOU. Tell me something...anything...oh, but keep it PG-13, please...my child might read this one day...he's four years old right now...so, short of his name, he's kind of limited on his reading ability...I'd like anything archived online to keep me on the pedestal in his peanut-butter-and-jelly-world. :)
This isn't Myspace so I don't claim to be "here for friends," BUT age has taught me one thing: THERE REALLY IS A LOT I DON'T KNOW. And knowing that IS A REMINDER that the more I learn from other ENGAGING PEOPLE, the better off I am. So, that's my mission: to get to know YOU. Really--if you're reading this...Why? There's a reason you found me...and surely, there's one reason for me to know YOU. Tell me something...anything...oh, but keep it PG-13, please...my child might read this one day...he's four years old right now...so, short of his name, he's kind of limited on his reading ability...I'd like anything archived online to keep me on the pedestal in his peanut-butter-and-jelly-world. :)
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