Insomnia is my BFF.
It's 2:15 AM, and yes, I DO have to be at work tomorrow...and I have NO reason for being awake...
So, I have been updating my Myspace Page. SO, WHAT OF IT? Anyway, it has been a long time coming...and anyway, I arrived at the "HEROES" section, and I realized that I didn't have any! I mean, yes, JESUS. But while He is a hero, that's not what the section is asking...I think that as a group, we feel like Jesus is "the right answer"--I mean, we all know that he's the ALPHA and OMEGA...Savior...Abba...Father...so, it stands to reason that He's also a HERO...but when I started thinking of LIVING HEREOS, i realized that i didn't have any! i mean, i know COOL people...i have people that i RESPECT...i have people i ADMIRE...but no real HERO...and then i felt BAD...and i thought i was DOING SOMETHING WRONG? i mean, i spend time with GOOD, GROWING people...so, i should have one of these said Heroes...right? what makes a person a hero? helping a sick child? rescuing a cat from a tree? a large financial contribution? seriously? EMAIL ME (tammyalthaus@yahoo.com) if you think you know the answer.
Ha...and so someone asked me WHY to blog. I have no idea. I'm sure there's a REASON that a person first STARTED to blog...forum, communication, ideas...but now it's just another..."thing." i blog just because i have a lot of emotions. I AM WOMAN. estrogen is my soul mate. who knows if it's a gift or a curse...but it's mine...all mine... :)
ok, i'm going to go do 100 crunches, give myself a facial, floss my teeth (ugh. eww. i should delete that...but i'm not going to)...drink some water...and hopefully fall into a deep slumber.
Sleep Tight...and if the bed bugs bite...then WASH YOUR SHEETS, Linus. :)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
BEST COMPANY POLICY
So, I am always seeking out new, well-written ideas, concepts, etc. In my search, I have stumbled upon a fabulous thing, and while the simple fact that I find this funny MIGHT MAKE ME KNOWN TO THE WORLD AS "STRANGE AND DEMENTED" I don't care...because again...it is FABULOUS.
Company Policy:
Effective from JULY 2005
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.Personal DaysEach employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Company Policy:
Effective from JULY 2005
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.Personal DaysEach employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
5 Ways to be a Great...PERSON...and Friend
Peek-a-boo...yes, it APPEARS as if I ABANDONED my blog. I really am NOT the kind of girl, who starts something without finishing it...but LIFE as I know it, calls me in a MILLION different directions, of which I am only HALFWAY capable of conquering...thanks to a few great friends!
First and LAST here...I thrive because I have mature, intelligent, witty, beautiful friends...and they hang around me because I reciprocate...well, ha...I didn't just mean to CLAIM beauty, but my point is that life is about companionship...so, CONQUER IT!
1. BE A GOOD LISTENER. duh. AND BLECK. We all want to offer COUNSEL, but a friend in need...is a FRIEND, WHO NEEDS TO WHINE, AND CRY, AND COMPLAIN FOR A FEW MINUTES before you offer a realistic solution.
2. BE QUIET. Men struggle with this FAR LESS than estrogen-pumping women...if he/she tells YOU then he/she tells YOU...not YOUR mutual friend, brother, sister or family member...so, MUMS THE WORD.
3. BE POSITIVE. BUT don't be a cheerleader...in the darkest moment of greatest despair, your FRIEND doesn't want to hear that it will "be OK..." save the Cliche responses for your Sunday School Teacher...be real...and be optimistic.
4. Be Present. Don't ENABLE whiny people to CREATE their misery, but if you have a real friend, who's generally grounded and happy, and he/she tells you they have a problem, then STOP YOUR LIFE to listen...it's 30 minutes out of your day...and 30 years back to their life.
5. Enjoy the reward. What goes around, comes around. How great is it to be there for a friend...and have them there for you?
First and LAST here...I thrive because I have mature, intelligent, witty, beautiful friends...and they hang around me because I reciprocate...well, ha...I didn't just mean to CLAIM beauty, but my point is that life is about companionship...so, CONQUER IT!
1. BE A GOOD LISTENER. duh. AND BLECK. We all want to offer COUNSEL, but a friend in need...is a FRIEND, WHO NEEDS TO WHINE, AND CRY, AND COMPLAIN FOR A FEW MINUTES before you offer a realistic solution.
2. BE QUIET. Men struggle with this FAR LESS than estrogen-pumping women...if he/she tells YOU then he/she tells YOU...not YOUR mutual friend, brother, sister or family member...so, MUMS THE WORD.
3. BE POSITIVE. BUT don't be a cheerleader...in the darkest moment of greatest despair, your FRIEND doesn't want to hear that it will "be OK..." save the Cliche responses for your Sunday School Teacher...be real...and be optimistic.
4. Be Present. Don't ENABLE whiny people to CREATE their misery, but if you have a real friend, who's generally grounded and happy, and he/she tells you they have a problem, then STOP YOUR LIFE to listen...it's 30 minutes out of your day...and 30 years back to their life.
5. Enjoy the reward. What goes around, comes around. How great is it to be there for a friend...and have them there for you?
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Catch 22
The best thing about working 7 days a week is that Sunday is not the "dreaded day before Monday" because it's just like any other day of the week. :) However, I am ready for a day off now...and I'm more stressed that I'm ready for a day off, and I'm supposed to be psyched and prepared for the upcoming week! ha! Oh well, the best part about being an Adult is that it turns out that my childhood perceptions were true: I really can stay up as late as I want...and I can eat marshmallows for lunch...and I can sleep past 7:00 and just be late if that so pleases me! I live a lavish and grand life! My goals this week: 1) Read the rest of my current book. 2) Stay steady on my new workout routine. 3) Paint my nails. 4) Keep up with my blog. 5) Spend time with a friend, who I know NEEDS an ear. 5) Lock in my client, who ENTERTAINED EVERY WAKING MOMENT of my weekend. :) 6) VISIT JP. :)
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Writer's Block
So, needless to say that even IF it turns out that I'm not destined to be in Sales, I won't be quitting my day job to be a writer...only a handful of blogs down, and I'm already drawing a blank!
BUT (THANKFULLY), I stumbled upon an amazing thing today: a MENTAL VACATION! Yes, that does SOUND lame, but I promise that my divinely profound explanation will bring it all full circle. So, for five years now, I have pursued the full commission career. And what does that mean, you may be asking...DOLLAR SIGNS...MAJOR MOOLAH...RICHES GALORE! YES? No. I wish. And because of my chosen industry, I work 50 hours a week and am afraid the SMALLEST VACATION OR EVEN SIESTA might undo all of my hard work. So what do I do? WORK. AND WORK MORE. No early to bed, just early to rise. No sabatacles...no early nights...no long weekends...no beach trips. Nothing.
BUT I am finally seeing the BENEFIT of personal time. I worked all morning and early afternoon today, but I stopped working at around 3 and just spent time with a friend...I did a FEW, SMALL things for work, but basically, I embraced a vegitative state...totally refreshing. In fact, I'm proclaiming a few hours TO MYSELF EVERY WEEK. NO WORK. MENTAL SOLACE...WASTED TIME! WOOOO-HOOOOO! I even splurged and ate pizza! Yes, to hell with the Diet gods! My girlish figure can surely withstand the grease and carbs for ONE meal a week...and it was goooo-ooood. And THAT, my friend, is my incredibly profound life lesson--take some time off--it will make you smile a little more...and to VALIDATE this thought, I'm going to spin it: time off=smiles=increased seratonin levels=greater happiness=longevity and health...and the cycle of life is healthy.
"Live Long and Prosoper."
-Vulcan Salute (minus the pointy ears)
BUT (THANKFULLY), I stumbled upon an amazing thing today: a MENTAL VACATION! Yes, that does SOUND lame, but I promise that my divinely profound explanation will bring it all full circle. So, for five years now, I have pursued the full commission career. And what does that mean, you may be asking...DOLLAR SIGNS...MAJOR MOOLAH...RICHES GALORE! YES? No. I wish. And because of my chosen industry, I work 50 hours a week and am afraid the SMALLEST VACATION OR EVEN SIESTA might undo all of my hard work. So what do I do? WORK. AND WORK MORE. No early to bed, just early to rise. No sabatacles...no early nights...no long weekends...no beach trips. Nothing.
BUT I am finally seeing the BENEFIT of personal time. I worked all morning and early afternoon today, but I stopped working at around 3 and just spent time with a friend...I did a FEW, SMALL things for work, but basically, I embraced a vegitative state...totally refreshing. In fact, I'm proclaiming a few hours TO MYSELF EVERY WEEK. NO WORK. MENTAL SOLACE...WASTED TIME! WOOOO-HOOOOO! I even splurged and ate pizza! Yes, to hell with the Diet gods! My girlish figure can surely withstand the grease and carbs for ONE meal a week...and it was goooo-ooood. And THAT, my friend, is my incredibly profound life lesson--take some time off--it will make you smile a little more...and to VALIDATE this thought, I'm going to spin it: time off=smiles=increased seratonin levels=greater happiness=longevity and health...and the cycle of life is healthy.
"Live Long and Prosoper."
-Vulcan Salute (minus the pointy ears)
Friday, May 2, 2008
Idiots
So, I feel pretty confident that few people even KNOW about my blog, but sure enough, as soon as I post something like this, I will HEAR FROM EVERYONE because someone is bound to KNOW (or actually BE) one of the people I'm about to mention.
IF you're an IDIOT, please step right up to the plate. I have a bone to pick with you...hell, I have a bone I'd like to throw AT YOU.
God Bless America...really...seriously..."Land of opportunity..." and home of the network marketing venture. Seriously, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A REAL TALENT OR REAL KNOWLEDGE, THEN PLEASE DON'T BE IGNORANT ENOUGH TO THINK THAT YOU CAN "GET RICH QUICK" BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS THE TALENT OR KNOWLEDGE! I spent over an hour today with an "investor." ...or so he told me...EVIDENTLY, there is a "group of investors," who meet in Greenville to discuss ways to buy, flip and rent houses--don't worry--don't put your "bored wall" up--I'm not going into details for THAT song and dance...at any rate, this is a TRUE STORY: so, this KID, calls me and asks me to search comps because he's an investor and he plans on making tons of offers on houses. Now, traditionally-speaking, in Anderson, we don't buy houses the same way your order your "whopper with fries, please"--there's a pre-qualification process...a research of debt to income ratio...blah, blah, blah...and let's ALSO go ahead and address the fact that when (as Americans), we hear the word INVESTOR, we think of...oh...say...DONALD TRUMP...you know the type--professional, savvy, affluent...INTELLIGENT. So, this Kid calls me with all kinds of "umph" and asks to meet with me. "GREAT IDEA," I say...he shows up and I say, "Ok, so let's talk about your cash flow options, money down and what you're trying to accomplish." and here's his story (I am NOT joking): "Well, right now, I'm buying FOR my investors. I live with my Grandma. And I sell coupon books. But I do play Robert Kiyosaki's "Cash Flow" GAME. So, I know of a guy, who bought a whole bunch of houses for like $35,000 each and he's like, supposedly doing good so I want to see about doing that." Of course, I ask this young entrepreneur HOW MUCH EXPERIENCE HE'S HAD DOING THIS...and now that he's told me he HAS INVESTORS, I ask HOW MANY...and I ask all the necessary (boring) real estate PROFIT questions...to which he replied "well, really, i have a list of like 1000 investors--i just make offers and they show up FOR ME and buy the houses. and i never asked about all the other stuff so maybe i should...right Tammy?" I SWEAR--I wanted the ground to open up beneath me and EAT ME. I really wanted to hear the "om nom nom nom" sound as the earth gobbled me up. Moreover, I wanted to yell, "GET A REAL DAMN JOB! STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND BELIEVING THAT IT'S REALLY THAT EASY TO MAKE SO MUCH MONEY!'" What is it with network marketing and the people, who buy into it?! If making "all that money" were REALLY that easy, WHY THE HELL WOULD EVERYONE IN AMERICA BE WORKING OR SACRIFICING TO OWN THEIR OWN BUSINESS? The people, who MAKE the money doing those things are the people, who were BRAVE ENOUGH ENTREPRENEURS to come up with those ideas! The rest of you are just the dumb saps BUYING INTO THEIR great ideas!
Here is my advice: get a job. study the WISE and wealthy buisness men and women, who have gone before you. then, CREATE some great plan...and go after it. GUESS WHAT? Your friends in the FIRST GRADE didn't like it when you were a "copy cat..." and the smart men and women, who have made the big bucks don't like it either!
i'm not really as bitter and angry as this sounds...i happen to find ignorance AMUSING. and really, i have this soft spot in my heart that hates seeing people be stupid. awww.
IF you're an IDIOT, please step right up to the plate. I have a bone to pick with you...hell, I have a bone I'd like to throw AT YOU.
God Bless America...really...seriously..."Land of opportunity..." and home of the network marketing venture. Seriously, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A REAL TALENT OR REAL KNOWLEDGE, THEN PLEASE DON'T BE IGNORANT ENOUGH TO THINK THAT YOU CAN "GET RICH QUICK" BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS THE TALENT OR KNOWLEDGE! I spent over an hour today with an "investor." ...or so he told me...EVIDENTLY, there is a "group of investors," who meet in Greenville to discuss ways to buy, flip and rent houses--don't worry--don't put your "bored wall" up--I'm not going into details for THAT song and dance...at any rate, this is a TRUE STORY: so, this KID, calls me and asks me to search comps because he's an investor and he plans on making tons of offers on houses. Now, traditionally-speaking, in Anderson, we don't buy houses the same way your order your "whopper with fries, please"--there's a pre-qualification process...a research of debt to income ratio...blah, blah, blah...and let's ALSO go ahead and address the fact that when (as Americans), we hear the word INVESTOR, we think of...oh...say...DONALD TRUMP...you know the type--professional, savvy, affluent...INTELLIGENT. So, this Kid calls me with all kinds of "umph" and asks to meet with me. "GREAT IDEA," I say...he shows up and I say, "Ok, so let's talk about your cash flow options, money down and what you're trying to accomplish." and here's his story (I am NOT joking): "Well, right now, I'm buying FOR my investors. I live with my Grandma. And I sell coupon books. But I do play Robert Kiyosaki's "Cash Flow" GAME. So, I know of a guy, who bought a whole bunch of houses for like $35,000 each and he's like, supposedly doing good so I want to see about doing that." Of course, I ask this young entrepreneur HOW MUCH EXPERIENCE HE'S HAD DOING THIS...and now that he's told me he HAS INVESTORS, I ask HOW MANY...and I ask all the necessary (boring) real estate PROFIT questions...to which he replied "well, really, i have a list of like 1000 investors--i just make offers and they show up FOR ME and buy the houses. and i never asked about all the other stuff so maybe i should...right Tammy?" I SWEAR--I wanted the ground to open up beneath me and EAT ME. I really wanted to hear the "om nom nom nom" sound as the earth gobbled me up. Moreover, I wanted to yell, "GET A REAL DAMN JOB! STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND BELIEVING THAT IT'S REALLY THAT EASY TO MAKE SO MUCH MONEY!'" What is it with network marketing and the people, who buy into it?! If making "all that money" were REALLY that easy, WHY THE HELL WOULD EVERYONE IN AMERICA BE WORKING OR SACRIFICING TO OWN THEIR OWN BUSINESS? The people, who MAKE the money doing those things are the people, who were BRAVE ENOUGH ENTREPRENEURS to come up with those ideas! The rest of you are just the dumb saps BUYING INTO THEIR great ideas!
Here is my advice: get a job. study the WISE and wealthy buisness men and women, who have gone before you. then, CREATE some great plan...and go after it. GUESS WHAT? Your friends in the FIRST GRADE didn't like it when you were a "copy cat..." and the smart men and women, who have made the big bucks don't like it either!
i'm not really as bitter and angry as this sounds...i happen to find ignorance AMUSING. and really, i have this soft spot in my heart that hates seeing people be stupid. awww.
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